Valerie Khoo


This is the personal blog of Valerie Khoo – artist, author and podcaster. Valerie is passionate about exploring the worlds of creativity and business. She is co-host of the popular podcasts ‘So you want to be a writer’ and ‘So you want to be a photographer’. Valerie is a mentor to artists, writers and business owners on how they can turn their passions into thriving professional practices. She is author of ‘Power Stories: The 8 Stories You MUST Tell to Build an Epic Business’. Valerie is also CEO of the Australian Writers’ Centre, one of the world’s leading centres for writing courses.

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  1. Marija

    HI Valerie, it must be really tiring!

    Here are some tips:

    * Step back from the situation – try to take a second person perspective. Ask yourself, “What might the other person be thinking, feeling, which is making them respond in a certain way?” Also, “How might the other person be perceiving my actions – what do they think I’m thinking and feeling?”

    Then step back from this again, and look at the overall committee; how is this interaction in support of, or not in support of the committee’s goals?

    * Keep in mind – Behind every behaviour is a positive intention (even though the consequences for the committee and others might be negative)

    * Remind yourself that people are more than their actions, words, emotions, roles etc.

    * Do not personalise things that happen or that are said.

    * Give sensory specific feedback, using language like, “I saw…” “I heard…” e.g. When you didn’t action what you said you would, I felt… or When you stood up and pointed your finger, I felt intimidated etc

    * “The meaning of communication is the response you get” – For example, if you’ve asked a committee member to do something, ask them straight afterwards to check in that they understood the task.

    I hope the communication gets better 🙂

    1. valeriekhoo

      Great tips Marija. Has anyone told you that you’d make an awesome life coach? 🙂 Hope the business is going well!

      1. Marija

        You are adorable Valerie! I’m loving it, thank you 🙂 I have your book, and look forward to reading it! Congratulations on your success with it!

  2. Easy Peasy Kids

    Working with behaviour my tips are breath and count to 10, look at the bigger picture, everyone has a story we can’t see. Fab post x

    1. valeriekhoo

      With this committee, if I counted to 10 all the time, I’d go blue!